Pain

Before this moment of epiphany too flows away from me I want to scribble down the random thoughts on my heart.. An unknown pain bothering you right now? Or has it ever occurred to you? Ever felt you are in pain but don’t know the reason? Why does it happen to us? We are reasonable beings…we thrive on reason and rationality. But at times like this, when there is no reason for thought ahead of us, what do we do? How do we get over this unknown pain?

I feel sad, I feel my heart missing the things I hold close, things, people, places, memories… I don’t know what, but something missing in there. But is that the reason for my pain? Or is my mind playing games with me, suffocating me with a barbed wire that doesn’t ever exist. We are vulnerable to pain, to suffering. We are afraid of pain, of being sad. But the truth is without pain how will we know what joy or happiness is like? For me, I recognize happiness as that which gets me away from thoughts and memories or feelings that give me pain and sadness. Happiness is a memory for me, it’s a sound, a voice, a song that leaves a smile on me, a color that brings back good memories, a place that reminds me how simple things are despite the million odd complexities I have placed upon my life.

                              In that regard happiness is not material, it is not worldly. Of course happiness is made in this world, but it doesn’t originate from the worldly possessions, we cannot buy more happiness. Because all the happiness we need, all that we want is right there in our simple fragile minds. No matter how much we complicate the matters of our daily life, it is still a simple matter of yes or no in our minds. We are the ones who eliminate this simplicity by adding layer after layer of complexities. And then when it is done, trying to regain that simplicity life had earlier gifted us is like peeling your way through an onion, you end up in tears…

                              Somewhere down the road we took, we lost the simple nature of our lives. It is always like that in everything. When we start off it is a simple matter of two choices and it is later down that road things get rough. An easy example is, when you are at the start of a relationship, at first it is just a matter of ‘does he/she likes me?’ to you and later it becomes ‘does he/she love what am being / doing at this moment? Is he/she happy with me?’…these are the simple good parts. It is later on that the simple honest doubts give way to complexes and ego.  If he/she doesn’t like what you are at a certain moment, the simple thing to do is to change yourself and be what they love and expect from us. After all, it is you who love him / her, and you want them to be happy always no? Wasn’t that the simple thought that originated the moment you fell in love with him / her? But is that the choice we make? We obviously go for the less simple choice, try to make them like us. Why? Does it make them happy? Does it make you happy? Does it truly make you happy? Will it keep you and them happy for the rest of your life? Then why? Why did we leave the simple choice we had in our life and tried to complicate it intentionally? We continue to do this, hurting ourselves and the loved ones in our little lives.

                              Remember, our lives are fragile and last a very little while only. Why complicate it with crap issues that we can avoid every time? We don’t have a lot of time out here. Make the most out of it and keep it simple and real. Get rid of those layers. What have we got to loose for it? Let go off that unhealthy sense of pride and complexes. Forgive, forget and smile. Enjoy the little things with and open heart and the

big things you seek will come your way eventually. And the next time you feel sad, you feel that pain, and don’t know a reason for it, remember…life is simple enough and there is nothing you can’t handle on your own and when things seem out of reach, there will always be friends and people in your life who will hold you through the hard times. And, if none of this seem to work on you, just go and write an article for your blog :). It may be the first time you are writing or the first article for your blog – like mine now…but it really helps. Let loose and scribble down everything that comes in your heart here. Your heart is pounding hard with thoughts. Your mind has a lot to tell you and share with you. Enjoy the rest of your day and your life :)