"I
feel lonely at times..." - The first sentence that came to my mind this
time. Here I am sitting in my office, the day after Valentine's day,
which happened to be a Saturday as well...amidst the million
possibilities I could have had on this wonderful weekend, the romance
and the aroma from the V day still all around me. What am I doing here
in this empty office? Why am I all so alone here. I feel lonely here. I
feel sad...
I began to feel helpless... I looked around for a familiar face, despite knowing for myself that the only misfortunate person in here today is me... It makes me sad. Like a million other times a million other things, people and places made me sad, the circumstances around me are getting a hold of me and are making me sad again.. Am loosing track of the things around me, of what surrounds me. Feelings of an impending anomaly surround me. When one feels clouded by loneliness, everything else seems to fade away, the good times you have had all along., even the good fun you had had on V day a mere few hours back...all that seems to be so distant, so frantically away from you now.
Now....now its just me, and no one else, the irony makes you feel like you are the last person alive on Earth this very moment... Quite ironical, yesterday you had this big party, yesterday you had your friends and today there is nobody. Cause you ain't got nobody. Yesterday was a dream, rattled and shattered by a blatant reality.
But then wait, amidst the dusty cloud of sadness misfortune and a whole lot of loneliness and helplessness, comes a few rays, of hope. But they are so fragile, ever so weak...like the dying light coming from a once mighty star, "Up above the world so high, like a diamond in the sky...", a star which is soon to die and turn into a black hole, an in-escapable dimension, a realm of eternity and darkness. It sinks up everything in it to its very core, and sucks up all the light that lies within. Its sucks up itself into nothingness. It turns itself into a portal, to a mirrored dimension, a fragile entry to a darker road.
"But wait!!!" I said to my mind. Stop playing games with me. I am way past that point mate. You cloud me with a bundle of thorns, name them sadness and loneliness, I have my hope. Hope shields me from all things sharp. Hope sheds light when all else seem to fade out. Hope prevents me from becoming a black hole. It prevents me from sucking up my own light and happiness. When hope shed its light on me, on this lonesome weekend in my office, I began to see. I saw the many different people who are online in my mail. Most of them I haven't talked to in a long while, but so what? what stops me from talking to them now? It's like I have never seen them online here up until now. Hope made me smell the wonderful Coffey I had right beside me on my table. Hope introduced me to my many friends who are waiting for me once I finish my job here and come out, hope introduced me to a weekend that is not lonely anymore, and finally hope turned this black hole into a star again...
I began to feel helpless... I looked around for a familiar face, despite knowing for myself that the only misfortunate person in here today is me... It makes me sad. Like a million other times a million other things, people and places made me sad, the circumstances around me are getting a hold of me and are making me sad again.. Am loosing track of the things around me, of what surrounds me. Feelings of an impending anomaly surround me. When one feels clouded by loneliness, everything else seems to fade away, the good times you have had all along., even the good fun you had had on V day a mere few hours back...all that seems to be so distant, so frantically away from you now.
Now....now its just me, and no one else, the irony makes you feel like you are the last person alive on Earth this very moment... Quite ironical, yesterday you had this big party, yesterday you had your friends and today there is nobody. Cause you ain't got nobody. Yesterday was a dream, rattled and shattered by a blatant reality.
But then wait, amidst the dusty cloud of sadness misfortune and a whole lot of loneliness and helplessness, comes a few rays, of hope. But they are so fragile, ever so weak...like the dying light coming from a once mighty star, "Up above the world so high, like a diamond in the sky...", a star which is soon to die and turn into a black hole, an in-escapable dimension, a realm of eternity and darkness. It sinks up everything in it to its very core, and sucks up all the light that lies within. Its sucks up itself into nothingness. It turns itself into a portal, to a mirrored dimension, a fragile entry to a darker road.
"But wait!!!" I said to my mind. Stop playing games with me. I am way past that point mate. You cloud me with a bundle of thorns, name them sadness and loneliness, I have my hope. Hope shields me from all things sharp. Hope sheds light when all else seem to fade out. Hope prevents me from becoming a black hole. It prevents me from sucking up my own light and happiness. When hope shed its light on me, on this lonesome weekend in my office, I began to see. I saw the many different people who are online in my mail. Most of them I haven't talked to in a long while, but so what? what stops me from talking to them now? It's like I have never seen them online here up until now. Hope made me smell the wonderful Coffey I had right beside me on my table. Hope introduced me to my many friends who are waiting for me once I finish my job here and come out, hope introduced me to a weekend that is not lonely anymore, and finally hope turned this black hole into a star again...
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